When you first go inside, you may be confused about who is really in there. Your exhaustion, burnout, sickness and anxiety serves no one, particularly yourself.
When guilt arises, simply recognize it is a habitual thought that doesn’t serve you or others. Pay attention to personal needs and wants.Be extremely kind and gentle with yourself. Practice one of these at a time so you don’t get overwhelmed. This can help them return to the present moment where life can be experienced more fully. Learn to recognize the patterns of type, accept them with compassion and support them in when they intentionally choose to relax.It’s important to stay connected to them and remind them to spend time alone and connect to themselves. Assure them gently you can care for your own needs. Express appreciation for who they are and not what they give. Be mindful of being seduced by the Two’s giving or of being “guilted” and “blamed” for being selfish.Expect Givers to get irritable or sad when their real real needs begin to surface.This can break the trance of over-giving. If they are over-giving, firmly and gently assure them you know what you need and can give it to yourself. Set clear boundaries with the Two in your life.Laughter, hyperactivity and flirtation may cover insecurity about needs or uncomfortable repressed feelings. You may notice short bursts of surface feeling.Or, it can mean you are not on their “needs screen.’ Your needs are out of their awareness as their attention is focused on the peoples’ needs who matter to them and who they see as someone with unmet needs. Sometimes your independence and seeming lack of needs doesn’t energize the Two as they are identified with being a Giver. This can mean a couple of things: you have upset them in some way and they are withholding from you (usually through silence). You may be in a relationship with a Two where you don’t experience their over-giving and generosity.Recognize their belief that love is contingent on meeting your needs.A barrier covers the confusion that surrounds actual intimacy with someone who can see them fully separate from what they give. Twos are attracted to relationships with obstacles.In this pattern, hidden needs are expressed as emotional upsetment and excessive anxiety that ultimately expresses itself in the body via illness, eating issues and various addictions. Twos may not know what they want, but get upset if they don’t get it. Rising anger and tears are signs of unmet needs. With time and practice, this habit loosens and you experience authentic humility which means you can admit you have needs and you can fully receive and give in its proper proportion. This is not the voice of the authentic self. This is progress even though it may feel uncomfortable at first and you will notice an inner, critical voice that tries to guilt you.
When you slow down and spend time with yourself, your needs and vulnerability begins to surface. Your incredible ability to tap into others’ needs allows you to leave the present moment. When you first learn the extent to which you have been repressing your needs, you may naturally feel sad or surprised. Discussing your needs brings up anxiety because it signals a possible loss of connection. For the Two,ĭefense mechanism: Repression: repression acts to keep your needs out of conscious awareness. The focus of the work is on learning your own needs and ultimately, giving in its proper, balanced proportion.Įach type has its own idealization, avoidance and defense mechanism which holds the idealization “in place”. Working on yourself doesn’t mean you will no longer be a caring or giving person. It ultimately hurts you as you become overly dependent on approval from significant others and it’s painful when the balloon deflates and you feel unappreciated and unseen. One of your challenges in relationship is placing disproportionate amount of attention on others to the point where it can become intrusive on the receiving end. You have a strong feeling that you know what others need better than they do themselves. The driving energy is “pride” which is an expansive feeling that feels almost like a balloon where you are filled up by giving to another. It’s a feeling that “If I take care of you, you will love and appreciate me.” You usually don’t realize when you are caught in this habitual loop or that you are repressing and squishing down your own needs. You habitually focus your attention on others’ needs and seeing what is possible in them and flattering them with your positive attention and words. If you are a Two, you’re a helpful, caring, relationship-oriented personality with a strong belief that love and survival depend on giving to get connection and approval from people and groups who matter to you.
0 kommentar(er)
